N is for Networking

True story: When I was about five years old, my mom got locked in the bathroom in our apartment. She asked me if I knew where the manager lived, and I did, so she told me to go down and knock on the manager's door and ask him to come rescue her. I walked down the sidewalk and stood in front of the manager's apartment, sobbing, because I COULD NOT BRING MYSELF TO KNOCK ON HIS DOOR. After several minutes I went back home, still crying. My mom asked me if the manager was coming and I told her no (there was a lot of tears and snot involved). She asked me if I had even talked to him and again I told her no (even more tears and snot). She sent me back down to the manager's apartment, but this time I didn't even bother going the whole way because I KNEW I was not going to talk to the man. It wasn't going to happen, even though I was going to be an orphan and my mom was going to be locked in the bathroom forever.

Those are some pretty high stakes when you're only five, but talking to an actual stranger was an even worse option. So I went back home and sat in front of the bathroom and produced copious amounts of tears and snot until my mom somehow extricated herself from the bathroom on her own.

This is how I feel about networking. I have been to several workshops/conferences. I have met several agents/editors/authors. I read a lot of blogs. And I do not have anything that anybody would consider a 'network'.

Because I am scared to death to talk to people.

Okay, it's not really (quite) that bad. I would totally go get the manager if my mom was locked in the bathroom again. In fact, having been the manager of an apartment building for a few years, I could probably get her out of the bathroom on my own. But it's still hard for me to talk to complete strangers. When I go to these conferences, or read blogs, it's hard for me to believe that I have anything to say worth bothering somebody else about. It's not like I'm on the verge of being orphaned again.

However, sometimes I get worried that my book is. It's so easy to sit and not say anything. But I'm working at it.